No Deal – ann-zy-(sh)ity

*disclaimer*

obviously this aint a woe is me or an excuse to whinge about my problems dealings etc etc its just what i intend MY blog to be about as stated in paragraph  4 line 26 in section 9CV.ab4 of clause #yolo back in the first ever original post i will ramble and put my experiences good bad funny horney ugly masterbatey positive negative…masterbatey… up here

*disclaimer for the disclaimer* 

in the first disclaimer ive said *read above lazy bastards* but you know what fuck it cause i will explain my opinions and thoughts and dealings from a day to day, week to week past and present as you already know if you’ve had a  good enough lurk 1) i suck at grammer and spelling 2) this is a subject which is pretty touching and close to home for me as ive always believed everyone has their story and at some point in time we have all dealt with a form of depression and/or anxiety at some point in time *self promotion here the band im in give it all this is what we are about – breaking down the walls that shroud these issues and helping reinforce and remember that you are not alone hence where the name ‘no deal’ came from one of our songs that has a film clip which is about the fact not everyone is the same and can not handle certain situations the same as others so dont be a lolly gaggin gongbeating cactus eating dick head and judge them) 

ok this is back to a serious post about anxiety mmmkay and youre gunna have a bad time

first up like the aforementioned title of the post and the reason ive come across a few people who can not wrap their head around depression and anxiety (ill refer to both but i am mainly focusing on the anxiety atm in this post) and say really dick punch cactus fucking remarks such as oh fuck jsut get over it theres worse things that couldhappen/worse things in the world/stop being a sook/stop being a bitch etc etc yeah cool assholeyou have just subjected this person who is already feeling like they are trapped in this tiny bubble of darkness but can see out of, struggling to breath feeling like there is a lack of oxygen with a sense of isolation and fear that it will never go away to being pushed further into the confines of their internal battle with whatever it may be going on inside their head all because you want to be a downright arrogant and jerk and say a remark like that. you sir/madam area the cum stain on the hotel i stayed at when i was about 8 and asked the folks why is there so much toothpaste left on the bed   BUT you arent even the stain itself you are the cum dust and dick dust that just crumbles away after it dries out all because you are to ignorant and arrogant to accept the facts at hand and have no sympathy.

my favourite is when people say oh well what ever that brings it on just dont do that. fuck me Jerome you think i  havnt thought of that…. anxiety is liek a bisexual it goes both ways something can trigger it whether it be a scent, a person, a sound, a thought, a noise, food, the toothbrush, the grit under your nails absolutely anything OR what really is a secret little bandit like the sneaky boobs grab/brush you do on the bus…no? or is that just me? is that nothing and i mean ABSOLUTLY NOTHING at all can bring it on, which personally is worse then reshared memes on simpsons shitposting because you cant pin point it you can be pulling your dick or more correctly driving to the shops or anything then all of a sudden you’re lost, your sense of self goes out the window, seclusion becomes a warm welcoming factor which is ironicly enough a feeling leaving you  cold and deathly and not one to fuck with and not something i wish on anyone. you can all of a sudden get a hot flush (no menopause) and start crying and getting stressed over something, anything, nothing take your pick because the reason why is as good as mine. 

I believe dealing with this – cause lets face it this is black and white you got this for life with varying degrees of depth, pressure, feelings and emotion – is kind of like the old addage of which pill blue or red on a few levels and grounds which i will go and ramble about now

firstly if you are dealing with anxiety issues its feelings are like it will never end a vicious cycle like you are having the very life and oxygen stolen from you and no one wants to lead a life like that THEY TOOK ERRR JERBS so you begin to take onboard and actively try new options things etc to possibly help ease the fight (this is where the blue pill red pull come in)

techniques such as breathing exercises, mindful meditation, positive thinking (engaging that pma) are just a small few to help but who the fuck wants to sit there and focus on breathing? who the fuck wants to sit and ommmmmmmmmnommmmm? this is what will separate the ones that actively accept whats at hand and put in place and into action. so i guess my shitty metaphor of the pills is this – blue pill swallow your pride kick your ego to the curb and give these ‘weird ideas thats are dumb cause they’re different and to basic and simple and if it were that easy everyone would be sweet’ or the red pill which is pretty much embracing the later half and just shunning the ideas and just being like oh yeah fuck it this is it. 

you have nothing to lose and everything to gain just imagine for a fucking second here that you are walking through fucking italy and all of a sudden bam musolini’s spirit rapes and pillages your inside and the anxiety comes out all of a sudden…. you are in another fucking country traveling enjoying life and you get fucking crippled by this ever haunting feeling and you are too stubborn to even contemplate the thought of a coping exercise. if this is you then fuck,  shit down my throat and pinch my testicle i feel for you because as i myself first to openly admit would move mountains to experience a life without it fuck just to experience a day anxiety free would be kicking goals. yet i do find myself doing all of the above methods plus others (masterbation…?..???..?) just to even attempt to keep it under control. 

keep in mind you are not alone, there are others out there as secluded and isolated as you may think or it may seem you are only kidding yourself don’t be afraid to talk about it. if someone you talk to or open up to in a damn right serious manner brushes you off or tells you to shut up or along the lines of stop being a sook then fuck that person right off because that is pure ignorance, arrogance and cunt-tance.

soooo, this was a big ramble I’m sorry i probably repeated myself in some parts and repeated myself in other parts and repeated myself through it all but hopefully it is some sort of insight. 

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