Hard to Find 

Like you, like me, like many others out there too we get so caught up in the world because we truly see and just want the best out of everyone and anything that we keep telling ourselves no it’s all good I got this I got this but then as time goes by when we finally break crack step back and look it’s like well fuck I lost grip and lost sight on what im doing because in a sense it comes full circle and goes back to the idea of seeing and wanting the best in everyone and once we come to terms and plant our feet back into the ground it weeds out the negativity, by acknowledging what was somewhat burdening us because it’s actually ok to back off from someone or something instead of chasing them to go out of your Way -actually it doesn’t even have to be out of your way it’s just a common decent fucking human being sentiment – to ask how their day was how they are how (insert situation) is going or try help them through a stressful time or predicament and various others in the nature of this. Which begins to play on your mind because you don’t really expect it of course but fuck it sure would be nice to be asked the same questions as to me it goes back to the basic human sentiment of being a decent human fucking being but when that ‘favour’ -for lack of a better term(and by that I mean when they can easily ask how your day is how you are how such and such was etc – is not returned you begin to question integrity as a whole , the integrity of yourself, of the person/s, of the situation, hell even of the world. You can get frustrated because you put time and effort in with not wanting anything in return because everyone has their story everyone has their struggles and everyone has theirs issues and you can respect understand maybe sometimes relate???and it’s fucking rare and hard to find someone who is openly and willingly to listen and/or respond which is great when you do. But the questions thoughts the whatever’s you want to call them begin circulating around of ‘fuck this how hard is it to ask, why bother, but they are struggling etc ATM so I can understand that its the last thing on their mind as they have their diddies going on so it’s ok I won’t let it worry me’ but (and I have to thank a good friend of mine (Donnie go follow him all round top bloke and very good value and he’s a fucking zoo keeper working with rad as fuck animals!!!!! @Donniexedge) for this discussion we were having the other day about various topics relating back to a main point) but when you are know to be that posi, pma kind of guy it’s rad it’s what both of us stand for and what we are as humans – it’s us too a T. But people tend to overlook the fact that we have feelings and emotions too it may seem that we have our shit together or we are all happy as Larry picking daisy chasing rainbows riding unicorns but it appears that way because we have a different way of dealing win situations that arose in life and get thrown out way like a fucking curve ball BUT that doesn’t mean we don’t talk about it or when we do talk about it in the rarity someone does ask us we don’t want to be brushed off in one sentence because they see this massive cum bubble of a pma aurora around us so they automatically think nah he/she be sweet cob. Truth be known sometimes we are fucking counting the grains of shit particles under our nails for someone to ask us or talk but in then leads to the personal struggle of not wanting to open up to the fear of being hurt, judged, laughed at or probably most of all let down by the ones you have helped listened to cared for and guided through, just to be brushed aside or chewed up and spat out or listened to/responded to in what you would feel to be a complete lack of disregard and lack of effort/emotion/genuine feels and words.
So all in all keep it black and white, be true to yourself dont lose sight of your morals, values and respects don’t let the fractures from society bring you down or discredit your own sense of self worth you are you and if we tried to fit the mould of everyone else then it would be a pretty fucking boring place. Be you.

 People take others for granted, whether we like to admit it or not and on carrying levels we are ALL guilty and sometimes more often then not we don’t realise it until it is gone, the little and big things. Yet sadly enough it’s human fucking nature the varying degrees of it are what the difference is. 

*edit this was beyond a very serious post and maybe even a buzz kill like shit that escalated quicker then a teenage boys first root but I’m about as positive as charlie sheen right now that I need some coffee and banana bread to help battle another day night venture feeding geese and plucking berries from secret depths of the fallen soviet empire to resolves the differences from which generated from tax hikes in Cuba due to increased insurgence to dominate the world cocaine supply to mediate and medicate the wealthy masses in positions of power to control the water flow from the jungles of Babylon to Iraq*  
Johnpma 

No Deal – ann-zy-(sh)ity

*disclaimer*

obviously this aint a woe is me or an excuse to whinge about my problems dealings etc etc its just what i intend MY blog to be about as stated in paragraph  4 line 26 in section 9CV.ab4 of clause #yolo back in the first ever original post i will ramble and put my experiences good bad funny horney ugly masterbatey positive negative…masterbatey… up here Continue reading